Rotting Turtle

My Rotting Turtle arrived yesterday and I immediately had to put it on with a little Citrus Blaze. All day I felt and smelt amazing (allegedly). It's my new scent.

I love this scent, I'm a true OGBB fan and was listening when the joke first originated and told my girlfriend about it several times, apparently enough to convince her it'd make a great gift for me. It really was, it's not like any other cologne I've ever smelled and I like the spiciness of it.

Regarding my recent purchase, I am happy to say I was more than pleased with the results.


I had discovered your products via YouTube and after being blessed with so much knowledge and laughter, I decided to give it a bash.
Got some Rotting Turtle.


Since I'm in the UK, best to get some shipping protection too. Because I'm not stupid.


Box arrived promptly, I tunneled my way through the foam peanuts to find a bottle of golden liquid. So I wasted no time and spray some on.
And was instantly convinced that it was worth the bite out of my wallet.


My dog went weird too. She only a little doggie, but she pinned me down and forcably sniffed at where I sprayed it.


I'm now waiting for payday to get some Rotting Badger. Can't wait!

Product definitely smells better than the thing you just stepped in. Highly recommend.

This is allegedly the greatest perfume ever created.

Danny knows it well

Used it to cover up the smell of my rotting turtles. Did the job, and left a pleasant smell to boot. If only they had a scent to cover up my dead badgers or corpse flower smells...

My wife and I just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. I wasn’t sure what to get her but I saw the post about Rotting Turtle and figured I’d order it. She tried it but I like it more, so I usually wear it. Not half bad!

Few aromas are as distinct and satisfying as a rotting turtle. When this fragrance launched I was skeptical as to whether it was possible to capture the true essence of a real life decaying tortoise. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a go. When the package arrived, my excitement and anticipation was difficult to contain. I eagerly retrieved the package and hurried to open the treasured scent. On first glance, the packaging and beautiful logo promised a olfactory treat to savor. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and dispensed the first delicious spray. It was everything I could have expected and more. The boffins behind Rotting Turtle have clearly put in the work necessary to recreate the intense, acrid aroma I know and love. As I proudly strode around town wearing this aromatic masterpiece, I could not help but to feel intense pride as my neighbors, fellow shoppers and shopkeepers admired my scent and spoke to each other in hushed and excited tones as a walked by with rotting turtle wafting off and trailing behind my every step. This fragrance is legendary. Purchase Rotting Turtle and you will not be disappointed, it is a true assault to the senses.

For so long I've wanted a scent that could replicate the smell of my home, New Jersey, and allow me to bring a piece of the place I love everywhere I go. Rotting Turtle is that fragrance. With each breath in, a mélange aromas can one second bring you back to a hot day traveling past Newark airport on the NJ Turnpike, to low tide on the Delaware Bay, or even the surprisingly fresh air of the Pine Barrens during brush fire season. How Simon and his team were able to create something that is so perfectly New Jersey without even trying is a master class in perfumery.

Smells great love the subtle hints of coke in there

Once she gets a whiff of that Rotting Turtle, be prepared for a night that you'll never forget!

I bought this because turtles are my favorite animal and Simon is about the only person I can stand on YouTube. The smell is very nice, like Beachwood and lemon. I have to say, I feel and smell like a absolute legend. This make listening to Danny's long introductions just pass by and I hope this positive review can earn us a uncut version of the intro Simon cut short because Danny filled it to the brim with in-jokes. Thank you YouTube Daddy.

It was a pleasant morning when I returned from a long night shift, and there were no particular scents until I arrived home. For there was Rotting Turtle. It was a delightful spritz of calm beach and absolutely something I recommend. Goodness, bottled in cuteness, and a great creation story.

I had a minor issue with the shipping. The team at this company are amazing! They were very personable and prompt to correct the issue. I will be doing business here again and suggest this site to others.

This is a very citrus smelling sent that carries rather well. This is the only perfume that lasts longer than Danny's intros. Da dum dum tishhhhh.

This is for both men, woman and people in-between. Though not people who think they're cats AM I RIGHT PETER.
Good size bottle 10/10 would smell this nice again.

Slight shock at the the fruit bubble gum aroma at first squirt, but it settled down to a decent orangy scent. Unfortunately the earthy base didn't react well to my skin leaving a distinct BO residual after the fruity high notes had evaporate. So, nice on first application, but in need of covering up with something else next day.

This scent reminds me of summer days at that nude resort in Rehobeth Beach during pride week. Not the foam party smell but how everyone smells on the way to the welcome party.

I am not a man who typically uses fragrances, but I thought "I'm an adult now, maybe I should get my shit together and start sprucing up when I decide to crawl out from under my rock on those special occasions." After fourteen seconds of intense deliberation it became clear that Rotting Turtle was the only logical option. And so I pulled the trigger. I have no regrets; this fragrance is quite nice. I've worn it on a couple of outings already and it stuck with me through the day without becoming overpowering. It comes out of the gate strong, not unlike the first line of cocaine in an epic 48 hour rager, but settles in nicely for the long haul afterwards.

I couldn't imagine such a pleasantly surprising scent. I just hope the proceeds go to finding Danny a good lawyer once he gets out of Fact Boi's basement. I'm kidding of course, he's never getting out.

10/10 would recommend. Looking forward to the next business venture. May I suggest a hair care line perhaps?

Firstly, Simon's a marketing genius. I discovered this cologne from a Brainblaze episode. The name. All I can say was "Who the F***would buy a cologne called 'Rotting Turtle"? Well.. Apparently me..
But the scent... Certainly unisex. Starts off with citrus and patchouli but becomes more floral yet masculine. Definitely doesn't smell cheap or like walking into a Tijuana brothel and a seafood market.
Actually quite pleasant. Like a high class brothel a church on Palm Sunday.
All jokes aside: I really like it. I park it next to my Hermes and Varvatos. Rotting Turtle hold its own.

Its very light,patchouli and maybe orange.i get headaches when scents are too heavy on me so this is perfect for us both.perfect for working in a cemetery lol

This is a really nice scent. The other reviewers were right. It smells like patchouli and a citrus, maybe like it orange, then there's a sweet smell that comes in after it heats up in my skin. I can't wait to try the corpse for next!

Literally waited too long to try this out! Girlfriend got it for me for Christmas and it is amazing. The smell is fresh, it's light. Unique and delicious. Top knotch! Can't wait to buy the rest!!!

I don't know what I was expecting, but my nose is SO confused and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
It smells like a lemon banged an orange covered in mint? There's also a floral undertone?
As I said, confused.
I'm still gonna wear it just so I can tell people I smell like rotting turtle lol. I think I'll try Corpse Flower next.
Good news for those who like the sent more than me, it lingers forever!

Are you a mere Pah...Pah...PEASANT!? Helping to support Danny's freedom, maybeee? If you envy the life of a Legend... you know what to do... allegedly

A great complex scent that is enticing. Starts off citrus but fades into warm notes -- not quite musk not quite spice but rich deeper warm notes that work well for anyone. With Rotting Turtle, you'll exude charm and good taste.

Without it, you're probably just sitting around writing down your crimes.

If you've got swagger or want to bring out your inner awesome, start the day with a big bowl of Magic Spoon and a spritz of Rotting Turtle.

I bought it because Simon and I love stupid jokes but it's actually really good.
It's now my new every day scent. It smells almost candy sweet with undertones of wood and a must have for everyone.

I thought, fuck it! I'll give some rotting turtle a try, my friends called my crazy, my family wouldn't talk to me. Until I showed up one day wearing rotting turtle, where they of course all wanted to know what captivating scent I was wearing.

Regarding my recent purchase, I am happy to say I was more than pleased with the results.I had discovered your products via YouTube and after being blessed with so much knowledge and laughter, I decided to give it a bash.Got some Rotting Turtle.Since I'm in the UK, best to get some shipping protection too. Because I'm not stupid.Box arrived promptly, I tunneled my way through the foam peanuts to find a bottle of golden liquid. So I wasted no time and spray some on.And was instantly convinced that it was worth the bite out of my wallet.My dog went weird too. She only a little doggie, but she pinned me down and forcably sniffed at where I sprayed it.I'm now waiting for payday to get some Rotting Badger. Can't wait!

Five stars. Product is as described.

I couldn't imagine such a pleasantly surprising scent. I just hope the proceeds go to finding Danny a good lawyer once he gets out of Fact Boi's basement. I'm kidding of course, he's never getting out.

10/10 would recommend. Looking forward to the next business venture. May I suggest a hair care line perhaps?

I bought this because turtles are my favorite animal and Simon is about the only person I can stand on YouTube. The smell is very nice, like Beachwood and lemon. I have to say, I feel and smell like a absolute legend. This make listening to Danny's long introductions just pass by and I hope this positive review can earn us a uncut version of the intro Simon cut short because Danny filled it to the brim with in-jokes. Thank you YouTube Daddy.

Slight shock at the the fruit bubble gum aroma at first squirt, but it settled down to a decent orangy scent. Unfortunately the earthy base didn't react well to my skin leaving a distinct BO residual after the fruity high notes had evaporate. So, nice on first application, but in need of covering up with something else next day.

This is a very citrus smelling sent that carries rather well. This is the only perfume that lasts longer than Danny's intros. Da dum dum tishhhhh.

This is for both men, woman and people in-between. Though not people who think they're cats AM I RIGHT PETER.
Good size bottle 10/10 would smell this nice again.

Once she gets a whiff of that Rotting Turtle, be prepared for a night that you'll never forget!

Smells great love the subtle hints of coke in there

I thought, fuck it! I'll give some rotting turtle a try, my friends called my crazy, my family wouldn't talk to me. Until I showed up one day wearing rotting turtle, where they of course all wanted to know what captivating scent I was wearing.

I had a minor issue with the shipping. The team at this company are amazing! They were very personable and prompt to correct the issue. I will be doing business here again and suggest this site to others.

I bought it because Simon and I love stupid jokes but it's actually really good.
It's now my new every day scent. It smells almost candy sweet with undertones of wood and a must have for everyone.

It was a pleasant morning when I returned from a long night shift, and there were no particular scents until I arrived home. For there was Rotting Turtle. It was a delightful spritz of calm beach and absolutely something I recommend. Goodness, bottled in cuteness, and a great creation story.

A great complex scent that is enticing. Starts off citrus but fades into warm notes -- not quite musk not quite spice but rich deeper warm notes that work well for anyone. With Rotting Turtle, you'll exude charm and good taste.

Without it, you're probably just sitting around writing down your crimes.

If you've got swagger or want to bring out your inner awesome, start the day with a big bowl of Magic Spoon and a spritz of Rotting Turtle.

smells great and my girlfriend agreed. she asked what it was called and when i told her she went off about how shes vegan and the name is offensive to her. i always thought she was just a vegetarian never realized she was crazy. thanks rotting turtle dodged a bullet

Product definitely smells better than the thing you just stepped in. Highly recommend.

Five stars. Product is as described.

the scent of the perfume was of great quality but the chunks of dead turtle flesh in the bottle was rather off-putting

For so long I've wanted a scent that could replicate the smell of my home, New Jersey, and allow me to bring a piece of the place I love everywhere I go. Rotting Turtle is that fragrance. With each breath in, a mélange aromas can one second bring you back to a hot day traveling past Newark airport on the NJ Turnpike, to low tide on the Delaware Bay, or even the surprisingly fresh air of the Pine Barrens during brush fire season. How Simon and his team were able to create something that is so perfectly New Jersey without even trying is a master class in perfumery.

Few aromas are as distinct and satisfying as a rotting turtle. When this fragrance launched I was skeptical as to whether it was possible to capture the true essence of a real life decaying tortoise. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a go. When the package arrived, my excitement and anticipation was difficult to contain. I eagerly retrieved the package and hurried to open the treasured scent. On first glance, the packaging and beautiful logo promised a olfactory treat to savor. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and dispensed the first delicious spray. It was everything I could have expected and more. The boffins behind Rotting Turtle have clearly put in the work necessary to recreate the intense, acrid aroma I know and love. As I proudly strode around town wearing this aromatic masterpiece, I could not help but to feel intense pride as my neighbors, fellow shoppers and shopkeepers admired my scent and spoke to each other in hushed and excited tones as a walked by with rotting turtle wafting off and trailing behind my every step. This fragrance is legendary. Purchase Rotting Turtle and you will not be disappointed, it is a true assault to the senses.

My wife and I just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. I wasn’t sure what to get her but I saw the post about Rotting Turtle and figured I’d order it. She tried it but I like it more, so I usually wear it. Not half bad!

This scent reminds me of summer days at that nude resort in Rehobeth Beach during pride week. Not the foam party smell but how everyone smells on the way to the welcome party.

Used it to cover up the smell of my rotting turtles. Did the job, and left a pleasant smell to boot. If only they had a scent to cover up my dead badgers or corpse flower smells...

Are you a mere Pah...Pah...PEASANT!? Helping to support Danny's freedom, maybeee? If you envy the life of a Legend... you know what to do... allegedly

Danny knows it well

This is allegedly the greatest perfume ever created.

I am not a man who typically uses fragrances, but I thought "I'm an adult now

I am not a man who typically uses fragrances, but I thought "I'm an adult now